Australia Collectively Gazes In Amazement At Knickers, Australia’s Mightiest Cow

[News]

In the era of the internet, we’ve become pretty desensitized to anything that shocking. Pornography permeates every crevice of the internet, a whole host of disturbing videos are literally a click away and Donnie Trump seems to have offended the world into not caring about his antics anymore.

And then, something like Knickers comes along and changes everything.

Knickers is Australia’s largest steer, which is a male cow that’s had its nuts chopped off and is primarily used for beef.

It’s actually thanks to Knickers’ sheer size that he won’t be killed, as it would be literally impossible to move him efficiently through the slaughtering process.

“He was too big to go into the export plant’s chain,” Geoff Pearson, the steer’s owner, told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC). “We have a high turnover of cattle, and he was lucky enough to stay behind.”

Apparently, Knickers stands at a whopping 194 centimeters tall and weighs in at around 1,400 kilos. Jesus fuck.

“It was too heavy. I wouldn’t be able to put it through a processing facility,” Pearson told Perth Now. “So I think it will just live happily ever after.”

“You’ll put him in a paddock and all the other cattle seem to get attracted to him,” Pearson told ABC. “Whenever he wants to get up and start walking, there’s a trail of hundreds of cattle following him.”

Well.. yeah? Have you seen the size of this unit? It’d be a bit like if your house suddenly got up and started moving, of course, you’d bloody follow it.

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